I wrote this post for The MOB Society when they first launched, back in 2010. Several of my posts were lost when they had server issues, so I am re-publishing. Enjoy!
“Oh, you adopted them through foster care? So you’re not their real mother. What were their real mothers like?”
Why is adoption so difficult for people to understand? It is such a foreign concept to so many people. We get so many questions about the boys, their histories, and about how much they know of that history. I believe that kids need to feel normal. Adoption isn’t a sin, a skeleton to be hidden away, or anything to be ashamed of. Even our sons understand that.
“Momma, tell me about when I came to your tummy”. D2 has such a way with words sometimes. He knew he didn’t grow IN my tummy, so he came TO my tummy.
He was about 6 when he asked me that. He knows that God chose us for him, and him for us. He knows there was another momma, but doesn’t quite understand everything, nor would I expect him to. D1 knows too, that he was adopted.
I told them, “The girls grew in my tummy, and you boys grew in my heart”. They know that we rejoice in the day we adopted each one of them, and that we are so thankful for them.
Sometimes at bedtime when we pray, they will ask me to tell them again the story of the day we picked each of them up from the hospital. They love to hear of how small they were, or chubby, or cute… it doesn’t matter. They love to hear the stories because it makes them feel special. Adoption is special, because the Lord created it to be.
In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will. Eph. 1:4-5
God created adoption, and even his own Son was adopted by a father that was not his biologically. Through Jesus Christ, we received adoption also into the family–and kingdom– of God. God chose us to be adopted, just as He chose our sons to be adopted by us. We receive all of the benefits of a natural born child through our adoption into Christ, just as our sons do by their adoption into our family.
I know harder questions will come later, but for now, I just love to tell them their stories, reminding them how thankful to God we are for both of them. Do I look real to you? Then yes, I am their real mother.
Now many years later, they are 14 and 12 and taller than me, and I’m still their Mom. That will never change.