Credit: SXC.hu author: Lusi
The blogging world often reminds me of high school—or even worse—junior high. There are cliques, and the fashionable people. We also have the more simple, the flamboyant, and the ones no one really knows at all. And there are always the people that everyone wants to imitate. All it takes to bring flashbacks from adolescence is the presence of a popular person, or popular blogger, in this case. The admirers clamor around her, wanting to be near her, or wanting to “catch” some of her popularity.
“She talked to me!”
“We had our pictures taken together and she signed a book for me!”
“Oh my gosh, she hugged you! What did she say to you?!”
Who ARE these people? They are Christians. Women. Bloggers. They get to meet someone they really look up to, and suddenly that other blogger has uber-Goddess status. Anyone who spends time with her receives a little bit of that uber-status too. It is hero worship in it’s purest form. I understand a little awe and all that, but this was surprising to behold.
Envy is alive and well in blogland. Why do we fall into it’s trap? It seems like so many bloggers want to be JUST LIKE a certain other blogger, to the point that, once they met her or heard her speak at a conference, they came back and changed their blogs or their writing, and now there are so many writing “like her” and I just wonder how many are authentic.
From what I know through her blog and her speaking, this blogger of whom I speak is a beautiful spirit, inside and out. She is humble and unassuming. I didn’t know who she was prior to that conference. I didn’t wait in line to meet her. I watched her. She was bewildered at the attention and even a bit shy. Seeing her uncomfortable made me uncomfortable. Most of the others didn’t seem to notice.
I didn’t meet her, but I needed to hear what she said. I needed to bring my priorities back into focus again, and she helped me to do that. She, as well as another speaker, helped me heal some rough places and have courage to tell some deeper truths, but I don’t want to BE them.
There are parts of her simple life that I long for. I love her ability to turn words into beauty and poetry and life. But I am very different from her. There are parts of my life that I love, too. She isn’t me, and I am not her. I write for myself, and I write for the Lord, but I’m not her. I’m me. Sometimes I splat my words down and sometimes a pour them from inside. It all depends on my mood. Either way I am using the gifts God gave me.
Yes, there are things that I long for, but God knows what I need. And as beautiful as she is, I don’t want to be her, or anyone else. I am very happy just being myself. I wish others would do the same. There is beauty in being who God created you to be. Whether you head to the Relevant Conference next week or stay home, please keep in mind that a transparent YOU is the best you can be.
Edited: 8:11am
Amen, sister. I am happy being myself, too. Don't want to be anyone else. Nobody can do Cristy as well as Cristy. Nobody can do Dawn as well as Dawn. I am convinced that when I want to be someone else, I am depriving the world and the Lord of what was planned for me.
(And I think that I care *so much less about this* now that I am forty–ahem.)
crafty_cristy recently posted..Angry Birds Party Game
So true! I've had to remind myself of this very thing this week while chatting with a friend about curriculum. She is my closet homeschool friend whom I respect, but our choices for what we use to teach our children are changing. I started thinking I should make the same choices as SHE does, but then I remembered: What?! We're different people with different kids with different focuses and styles! Sometimes you need a reminder to do what is YOU!
That is it EXACTLY Jessy!
Us silly humans..we're such chameleons. Changing our color to fit in with the environment. Often said, 'sheep'. We all want to fit in..be accepted for who we are…being different might mean…. being the *black* sheep in the fold. *gasp* But you know what? It's those black sheep I want to get to know…they have stories to tell. Some people are better story tellers and just because we enjoy a story, doesn't mean we know the person deep down inside. A lot of times the "super star bloggers" don't like that attention..at all. Not everyone knows how to handle that kind of popularity and even when they try..there's always a critic ready to make people miserable. But stars always grab our attention, even if they sneak by quietly.. it's us, the people who make a big deal out of things. We need to grow up into Christ and learn to be temperate. Not to be a "respecter of persons". Love everyone equally. When we say to the popular blogger "Sit here with us, at the table of nobility" and say to one of lower hit counts, "You can sit over there..at the table in the back, I see an empty seat for you there" then WE are at fault. While it's true that we all develop our inner circles, the friends who really do stick closer than a sister…may we not exclude anyone from being accepted EQUALLY. For we are all ONE in Christ.
With that being said, I can't go this year and I'm super jealous. My heart longs to be there. I pray you'll all be blessed by the fellowship and inspiration…may everything be said in grace. May there be lots of sisterly hugs!
Yes yes yes Lisa! It IS us who do it– who create the "stars". I almost put "Let the shunning begin" at the end of this post, because I know that a lot of people were there and as you said earlier, I'm treading on "sacred" territory to some. God knows my heart. It's not that it's wrong to admire someone, it just gets to be TOO MUCH when it turns into a social status who-you-know thing. I hated that in high school and I'm still very turned off by that mentality. I love people! If certain "big bloggers" wanted to sit down and chat with me I would be just and thrilled as if someone I hadn't heard of wanted to. God is no respecter of (a) persons (status).
And I so wish you were going… Maybe next year! Or maybe I'll just have to take a trip to California.
I would love to go next year… although I really really think we need something like that here on the West Coast. Flying to the East is just not in our budget.
I totally agree. And you know what some people [who long to be someone else] don't realize?
Is what that person WENT through to be who they are. I the blogger you speak of went through some MESSES that brought her where she is, and WHO she is today.
Unless people are willing to go through what she went through, it's just not possible. We are made up of SO many things—experiences is one of them.
God shapes us individually. In Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Aslan points out to Lucy that her wishing to be as beautiful as Susan is like wishing herself away. Because if she were Susan, SHE would no longer BE.
God had a DESIGN for each of us and if we step outside of that, what are we missing?
God used Ann to change me and was I excited to hug her neck at Relevant last yer? You bet!!! We had made a connection prior to Relevant–so it wasn't like we were strangers to one another. But she is Ann–a broken vessel who's desperate for God. I don't want to be her…but I do want to learn from her. Her spirit is captivating and draws me in. Why? Because she is saturated with Jesus-grace, and love, and all that stuff the Spirit lives through us. It's what makes her beautiful—Christ through her.
Maybe what people don't realize is that they are drawn to Christ through other people, but they miss that part and instead give that gift of heroism to a person rather than to Christ.
Anyways, I totally agree and we need to keep that perspective, definitely.
Christin @ Joyful Mo recently posted..Practical Ways to Live for God {That Include Your Children}
That is EXACTLY what I was talking about. It is all of our life experiences that bring us to where we are in our life, be it spiritual or otherwise. It's easy to want what someone else has but not want what it was that got them to where they are. And true, in wishing to be someone else we are wishing NOT to be ourselves and how sad is that?
Well said, Christin. Great example of Lucy and Susan.
I have seen this so many times I stopped counting. I have been friends with people who were *leaders* in different circles and it always turned out like that. I have become so negative about this. It really, really bothers me. What makes it even worse (and I am in no way pointing fingers) is I NEVER have met anyone willing to admit to this hero worship. Everybody claims to *understand* and not do it. You could get a hundred comments and there will be an extreme minimal number of people who actually say they do this. What I have really been concerned about is the extreme amount of love that goes out to people in these positions of mini (or major) fame. If we as humans would put that much effort into blessing our neighbor next door to us instead of heaping piles of it on someone we don't even know personally that would go a long ways. While I don't see ego happening with the gal you are referring to, I have seen it become a problem in religious circles. I come from some serious hero worship areas and it just made me sick to my stomach. I wish we could all just be ourselves too. Agreed!
You know, that's true. A rare few will actually admit to hero worship. What I am hoping for though, is that people WILL take a look at themselves and realize they aren't being THEMSELVES. I will admit that I tried imitating different styles or ideas for a short while over the years. I've learned that I can't do a weekly thing every single day. Many can; I can't. My posts come out sounding very superficial and like I am just trying to "get it done". An example of this for me is the Thursday KinderGardens weekly. I won't be doing it next year, not because I dislike it, but because it became a duty and not a passion. If it's not a passion I just don't have time for it. Not only that, but gardening itself is NOT a passion. (LOL!!!) When we realize that we aren't being true to WHO WE ARE and what we're passionate about, then the real writing happens. Then we become transparent. Hopefully.
I like some memes, but I don't participate in them every week. I might do it every now and then. As beautiful as some of them are, I get bored seeing everyone doing the same things over.and.over again. Some blogs are all memes..as in..the person is simply filling their space with copies of the leader of the meme. To each his own I suppose. I prefer to read the experiences people go through, how God got them to where they are today. Their heartaches… if all I ever see is joy on a blog, I feel as though they are hiding something. Joy comes in the morning…AFTER the hard times have come first. When we know the heartaches, we can better rejoice with people in their joy. Without knowing the suffering of Christ, the joy of him living may not be as impacting on us. Religion wants to hide behind a facade..faith exposes all of life, the raw suffering that brought them to walk by faith. But a lot of people are so afraid of being true to themselves and to others…because they're afraid to be rejected. But a true friend will sit in the 'ashes' with them and not worry about the dirt.
I love it! I agree 100%!
Susan Evans recently posted..Modesty or Frumpiness?
I so agree with what you say! However, I guess I was raised to "be myself", to let it roll off my back. I was not one who even wanted to be with the "in crowd". I don't really understand the whole fawning over a "super, mega, huge blogger". We all put our pants/skirts/undies/shirts on the same way. What this does remind me of is a song from youth group.
I just want to be a sheep
Baa Ba Ba Baa
I just want to be a sheep
Baa Ba Ba Baa
I praise the Lord, my soul to keep
I just want to be a sheep
Baa Ba Ba Baa
If I'm going to fawn over, hover around, blindly follow someone… I want it to be Jesus.
Naomi recently posted..Destination Disney – “M”, “N”, and “O” are for…
I too suffer from blogger envy at times. "How can I get more follwers/commenters?" And so on. What started out as a way to keep family up to date on our life has turned into a competition at times. Thanks for the reminder.
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The way I look at it is that people will read my blog and then if it doesn't "feel" genuine, they'll stop. If you always write using your own voice, and you're honest in your writing, people will either like it, or not, but at least you aren't wearing a blogger mask. And the ones who stick with you? They are the one who will later become your community that reads and comments, whose blogs you read and comment on. And that is the start of IRL friendships! Trust me on this, go to one conference and your "invisible friends" as Sprittibee calls them, will be real friends. THAT is my favorite part!
Dawn, I'm very new to blogging, and I have to admit that I can feel what you're talking about, and it is intimidating to try to break in somewhere. If feels like there is a gold-standard of which I'm not totally informed! I'm trying to persevere and share my heart regardless. Thanks for talking about the "elephant in the room!" Now I know I'm not imagining it!
Michelle @ Changed B recently posted..Top 10 Reasons, Mom, That You Might Want To Quit Your Job
I used to care to much about what other people thought. I wanted to be in the in crowd but never was. It may sound odd but at the same time I didn't want to fit in cause I saw all the games they played. I guess I just wanted friends. Now I could care less what others think and just write what comes to me. I only care what God thinks and He's the main reason I do it anyway. I have sometimes wished I could write like so and so but it is a momentary passing thing. My husband just pointed it out again that if I would have become someone else the readers who liked reading me would have stopped. So I get what you are talking about here. As for making somebody else into an idol? In the old days I may have been impressed to meet somebody famous, but now I see everybody as more equal. Just human beings, who utterly mess it up sometimes, but who are still loved equally by God.
YES Amy. You spoke my heart. I just don't care what "they" think about me any more. @OpenMindHeart tweeted @ me earlier saying "Wise words from a friend of ours. "Be yourself: Everybody else is taken." "
great post lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will miss seeing you next week
Stephanie!!! I will miss you too! We had fun last year! You have that sweet little guy to spend your week with though, so I think you'll have enough.
You can always watch the keynotes live!
You are my kindred spirit. I did exactly the same thing as you last year…observed with no autographs and that is that. I have never been a "star" person and I am too old to change. I too needed the talk from the speaker and it went to my heart…the writing goes to my heart. This person is one of the few that can make me cry with her words. I so dislike artificial and copy cats. Shoot….as she said….I would rather be writing for one and not put anyone on a pedestal except God himself!!! Love ya girl.
Karen recently posted..All God’s Creatures are Beautiful – Even You! – Wordless Wednesday
Funny, I wrote a similar post about the same gal, only from reading the book. What you say about blogging is true, too.
I think a huge application of this for me is that I tend to reflect the company I keep.
Maggie S recently posted..I Haven’t Ever…
I've seen in this in all niches all over the blogosphere. In regards to the comment above about people admitting they do it… I don't think people realize that's what they are doing. Maybe after awhile they get a little uncomfortable in the new suit they are trying to wear and go back to being themselves, but at the time I really just don't think they see it. OR they think if they imitate another person's success then the same will happen for them. That's not true. Those people got where they are by being authentic, and I'm sure every single one of them would tell you that.
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“Be yourself: Everybody else is taken.” <<love this!!
Thank you for writing about this topic so honestly! I wholeheartedly agree. We often just need to remember who God made us to be. If He made me ME, then I should be proud~ cause He doesn't make junk.
)
We just need to be brave~ step out and be transparent. That's when we begin to make invisible friends. And that's what will put down the giant that makes us think we want to be just like that "famous" blogger.
Oh, for God's grace to fall on us…
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