This month we are talking about getting kids to do chores. This isn’t my strong area, and I can use as much help as possible! Some kids are GREAT about it, and others… not so much. A few kids can be downright frustrating when it comes to getting them to pitch in around the house. I asked several moms this month—specifically moms with at least ONE child over the age of 10—how they motivate their children to do their chores.
Amy Bayliss of AmyBayliss.com encourages her kids to not just do what is expected, but to go above the call of duty. “I have four boys and yes, they do chores. In fact, here is a video of one of my boys doing his bathroom chores. One thing that I do to motivate my kids to do chores is offer them a gift for going above and beyond. They have to keep their room and bathroom clean everyday plus one chore each but if they were to also clean up the yard or clean out the car, something that isn’t required of them then they receive a gift card to the place of their choice. This works two-fold. It is bonus for additional chores and it teaches them to keep good record of and budget their funds.”
Mary Beth from Country Life 4 Me also uses rewards, “The one thing I do to motivate kids to do chores is give them a chore list, have them follow it for a week and then they get a small reward at the end of the week and also if they do their chores all month they get a big reward like a pizza party with friends invited or a trip to McDonalds or the zoo. A nice thing to look forward to all month and encourages them to do their lists every week all month long.”
Betty of Peace Creek on the Prairie takes the team approach. She replied, “In our family we work together as a team to get our chores done. Mom, or dad is the coach an the children team up together to get them done. We work based on routines. We call ourselves Team Eisenhour.”
Karyn of KarynClimans.com is preparing teens for adulthood. “I have 2 teenage sons, 19 and 17 years old, so motivation is key to getting chores done. Currently I’m trying to teach them some needed cooking skills so that when they are away at university, they’ll be able to manage. Involving them in teh food choices is critical, for example, my eldest son decided to cook Penne Alla Vodka. He took care of the entire meal, enjoyed the experience and I’m pleased to report it tasted delicious!”
Donna Shenk of Hey Donna! is instilling helpfulness into her 4-year old. “…although she is young and we are trying to instill the idea that when she helps with chores she is contributing to the family. I try to repeat this to her often so she knows that doing chores is not just a task but a way to bless her family. She does great when we set a timer to see how long it takes for her to clean up. I think that using a timer makes it seem like a game to her and she races to get it done.”
And my oldest blog friend, Amber at Classic Housewife, emailed me how she wasn’t going to answer but I am including her non-answer if only because it is the way I tend to be, also. She said, “Well, I’m not sure I can help with this one because, 1) my oldest is only 10 AND because 2) I have a tendency to lean towards “DO IT” as my “motivation” to them. 
”
Yes, I admit it, I am also a “Just DO IT!!” person. I need help in this area. I hope to incorporate some ideas from these awesome ladies. I also was sent a link to a great post by Jenn at Daze of Adventure who wanted to reply here but couldn’t pare her answer down to fit in this post. I read her system and it’s just too great to pass by. You must read about her Chore Charts & Gems!
If you need a little extra help, Dana White, aka Nony the Slob, has written an ebook that will give you some strategies to get them to cooperate!
(affiliate link)
At what age do you recommend having kids start doing assigned chores? Mine are 4 & 3, which is a bit young I think, but I want them to have some responsibilities sooner rather than later!
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Jen: My kids start helping out with some chores as soon as they are able. A 2 year old can put away spoons from the dishwasher, or put kitchen towels in the drawer. A 3 year old can make his bed with some help. A 4 year old can use a cleaning wipe to clean the bathroom counter and sink. My sons are 8 & 10 and they both help load and unload the dishwasher, although we don't have them 'assigned' a night yet, they gather up and take out the trash. Our 10 & 16 year old mow the lawn. The 16 year old can do pretty much anything that needs to be done, but I need to get all the kids assigned chores so they know what is expected and when. This is something I'm working on getting better at! Our 16 year old also loves to cook and bake, so she does a large part of the baking and a bit of lunch/dinner cooking too. When my kids turn 10 they also graduate to doing their own laundry. David is 10– hooray for me!
Ok, Ok, since you used my "Non-answer" I guess I have to go ahead and give a real one.
Usually my first approach is to request assistance with something and when they whine, point out that being part of a family means working together and pitching in, and also that God wants us to be good stewards of our things. When that doesn't go over well (it rarely ever does).. THEN I default to the "Just do it!" I add to it that God calls them to be obedient and respectful, so they need to tackle whatever the chore was obediently and respectfully. (And if it looks like I'm about to get an argument I add "Or there will be consequences.") Yeah – that about sums it up. =P
To Jen, my kids are 10, 7 and 4, and there are already regular chores that they each have. The youngest has to feed the fish (while I supervise, though our last fish just died and we haven't replaced it yet) and helps me take out the trash. I also have him assist me while cleaning up his room. The middle one feeds the cats and checks the mailbox. She is usually called on to clean up the living room. The oldest one cleans their bathroom, tidying it daily and really cleaning it on the weekend. Both girls share a room and have to clean it without much help from us, even vacuuming. I have them put away their own laundry after I fold it; often I have the girls wash and fold their own laundry. Any of them can be called on at any time to assist with any chore.
When they're young is a great time to give them small chores like feeding a pet, making their bed, bringing their dirty laundry hamper to the washroom, etc. When our oldest was 5 she started helping clean up the living room. When the middle was 5, she took over the living room and the oldest got the bathroom. As they grow we can add a little more and a little more. As for INCENTIVES.. this is a week spot for me, too. We tried allowances briefly several times and never stuck to it, we've tried chore charts and had a hard time sticking to that. I just tend to go with a few daily things (pets, bedrooms) and then "What needs to be done? Do that."
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I love this topic! I especially liked the post you linked at the bottom from Daze of Adventure. The Gems are great. We used stickers before for a similar tactic, but the gems seem more tangible somehow.
I have my help wanted sign up! Sort socks $1, dog poop $1, clean toilets $0.50… we'll see if anyone takes me up on them!
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