We hear it all the time, especially at church.
“Boys just shouldn’t have long hair.”
“Piercings are a sign of rebellion.”
“She died her hair purple! Where are her PARENTS?”
“I would never let my child wear that. Ever.”
It’s so easy to make snap judgments about other people’s kids.
Just so easy. We see their new style of dress, a hair color or hairstyle, or the boy with the shoulder length hair, and we hear it all around us. The church people, the pure and the saved, casting judgments like Pharisees and holding back the grace that was extended to them.
About my kid.
About your kid.
Without having any idea about what’s going on inside the heart and the head of that teen. Is this outward appearance truly rebellion, or is it just a kid trying to find out what style he likes?
Is that girl rebelling, or does she just really like purple so she wanted to try it in her hair? What does that really say about her?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
They also don’t know if, unlike the hair or that piercing which shows, that girl has some serious emotional or drug issues, issues her parents are aware of and are working through with her. And her hair? That’s the least of their worries right now. They want her heart.
As a parent with teens who have explored “creative” appearances (*snicker*), I always look at the child himself. His heart, his behavior, his activities indicate his motives. When I heard “Hey Mom, I was thinking about dying my hair black. What do you think?” I honestly thought about her with black hair and said “Well, if you’re going to do it just use the wash out kind so you’re not stuck with it.” She happily said, “Okay! Can we go to the store?”
Because really, it’s just hair.
And when my son asked me to stop when I began to buzz his head, and asked if we could try out a mohawk, I did it. So many people were shocked. So many Christian parents that I knew asked me if he was on drugs or rebelling. “No, he just wanted to try out a mohawk,” was my reply. They couldn’t believe it. He only had it for a week, and then shaved it off.
It’s just hair people.