I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t afraid for the future.
His future. The other day I talked about the childhood years and how long we have with our kids. It simply isn’t long enough to assuage the waves of worries that can plague my husband and I if we start thinking about the life our son will have as an adult.
An adult on the Autism Spectrum.
My biggest fear is that he won’t find a place to be; a place where he fits and lives and loves and grows old with others who fit and love him. There’s just no way of knowing, and it hurts my heart to think about it.
I have never worried for the future of my kids the way that I do for D1.
He is gullible and trusting. He is loving and kind and would quite literally give someone his shirt and his shoes if he saw they had need. He is scattered and distractible, practically unable to follow through with even simple tasks. He needs cueing and prompting and reminders.
They say that when you have a child, you are allowing part of your heart to go walking around outside of your body. This is true in a sense, but I’ve never felt it so strongly as I do with this child whom I did not birth. His life was given to us, placed in our hands, and when we think of his future it terrifies us. Is he smart and capable? Yes, quite. But he also needs understanding and help and who will do that later?
Oh Lord, he is in your most capable hands. We lean heavily on you because this is something we simply can not do.
What is your biggest fear when it comes to your Autistic kids?
This post is part of a series. Please go to my landing page to read all of them.