I don’t know what happened last night, but it seems that I was gathering Friday Fail material even in the middle of the night.  I had a (not-so) fun personal fail this morning, but the night was doomed much earlier than that.

You see, I am a night owl. It is my productive time, my blogging time, my chatting, Facebooking, play time.  And my husband is not a fan of my late nights.  I determined that for the betterment of our marriage, I need to really try to go to bed when he does, sometime between 10 & 11pm.  Last night, I finished up a Photoshop project I was working on, and went to bed when E did, at 10:30.  Since I was about two days behind on my Bible in 90 Days reading, I pulled out my iTouch and worked on getting caught up while E snoozed.  I reached the end of that particular day’s reading, so I stopped and started playing Bejeweled.  (FAIL #1, 11:30pm)

At midnight I caught myself dozing, so I put the iPod away and went to sleep.  For 45  minutes.  That was when our dog began bugging me.  She had gone outside right at 11:00, so I knew she didn’t need to go out, and since I had just gone to sleep she only succeeding in irritating me.  I need to explain here that first, she is a 6# Pomeranian, and second, she has a litter of three 2-week old puppies who she SHOULD be sleeping with.  I told her to go lay with her babies, turned over, and went back to sleep.  She walked up me, across my pillow-and face- and back down my shoulders and back. She stood at the edge of the bed and whined. She barked. I got VERY irritated. She barked again.  I tried desperately to ignore her. (FAIL #2)

Cleo drove me nuts until 3am, barking a short, weird bark at intermittent times, pacing, and walking over me repeatedly. I pushed her off the bed, SENT her off the bed, etc.  Finally I just took her outside in desperation for sleep… except she veered to the kitchen, where her water dish was.   I had moved her food & water dishes out of the walk in closet, where she and the puppies are located, back to the kitchen since she seems to be downstairs so much anyway. I forgot about nights and the fact that she is a very small dog nursing three very hungry puppies, and she would need water. (FAIL #3) After she gorged herself on water, I let her outside.

She came back in, and happily jumped back up on our bed and straight over to my husband, who up until that point had managed to ignore her, that was, until she snuggled up to him and he caught a whiff of her… uh, odorous backside.  Someone must have dropped taco meat on the floor during dinner last night. It did not set well with her tummy.  (FAIL #4, but I think it was the kids!)  I gave her rear a shampooing and towel dry, and plopped her in with her puppies. By this time it was 3:45am, and our comfortor stunk like…. well, you know what it stunk like. We tossed it in the laundry room.

Sleep, sweet sleep….  CHIRP!  BARK! BARK!…. sleep…. CHIRP! BARK! BARK!  WHAT THE #$%&@!!!!???? Smoke detector battery!  There would be a chirp, then the dog would growl and bark.  Quiet for about 3 minutes, then chirp, bark bark.  UGH. This time E was also up, frustrated, both of us wide awake and really just flat out MAD at the dog.  Not our finest moment but at 4am this was just becoming the most awful night ever! We changed the battery in the smoke detector in our room and went back to bed.  For about 3 minutes.  CHIRP!  Bark! Bark! Grr!

Apparently the CO2 detector is actually what had the dead battery.  We searched the house (yes, lights on, wide awake) for another 9v battery, changed the sucker and went to bed, finally to sleep.

I got up at 6:30 with E, bleary eyed.  After he went to work at 7:00 I colored my hair, and squirted hair color IN MY EYE.  The Ultimate FAIL after a perfect night of FAILS. And by the way, don’t do that.

Hair color STINGS REALLY BAD.