I’m not sure I am ready to stir up this bees nest and I think I am really late coming into this conversation controversy, but…
In the nearly two weeks that have passed since my local homeschool conference, I haven’t been able to get the topics out of my mind.
I have grown ever more disturbed by what Rick Boyer said during his sessions. It has forced me to do some serious soul-searching, as well as Scripture- and blog-searching.What I have found is that Rick Boyer is part of the “patriocentric movement” (I think that word was coined by Karen Campbell, aka ThatMom, although I may be mistaken). I have questions, and concerns. I will intersperse them as I write ramble, and think of them.
1. How do we keep these twisted and false teachings (and teachERs) from infiltrating our homeschool groups?
2. How do we identify these people before they are put on the calendar?
3. Is it necessary to include views on patriocentricity in a homeschool group’s statement of faith, to keep things on the right path? (As in should we?? I’m thinking YES!)
My thoughts are a jumbled mess at this point, as my very indignant 17 year old daughter and I have had many conversations in the past couple of weeks on this subject, and I try to separate my feelings with facts, and vice versa. I will be very transparent here, with you. When we first began homeschooling years ago, and I met some families who followed these teachings. I was also a fairly new Christian, and I saw these families as the ideal homeschool families. I bought it hook, line and sinker.
The only trouble was that my husband DIDN’T. I didn’t see at the time that the Lord gave me a blessing there, keeping E from paying any attention to the homeschool community in any way. (I do wish he would be more involved! but it was a blessing in the long run.)
Many years ago I received a Vision Forum catalog, unsolicited, in the mail. I read the articles, looked at all of the resources, saw all the well-dressed mothers and children in matching outfits, and thought THEY MUST HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. THEY have fathers who lead. THEY homeschool perfectly and teach their children to follow the Lord perfectly. THEY… what? I thought wrong. I had no idea what it was all about, because I never really investigated the whole package. I just saw the external and thought “THAT is what I want.” However, my God knows best, and said “No, THIS is what you NEED.” Thank you Jesus!
If you are not familiar with VF, go to their site (linked above) and read the articles. It will turn your stomach, especially if you are a woman. So now we have these teachings invading our homeschool groups. I have always seen “those families” but not many of them, around. Lately, I am seeing more evidence that so many have been deceived and bought the lies that Vision Forum and others have been selling. We had originally had Chris Klicka scheduled to speak, but ended up with Rick & Marilyn Boyer, due to Chris’ health.
4. How do I peacefully and appropriately bring my concerns to the board of my HS group?
So let’s chat. Please let’s keep it civil, as we are all sisters and brothers in Christ. I honestly want to know more about this, as well as hear others’ opinions and personal experiences. I have been doing a lot of reading at Whitewashed Feminists and ThatMom’s blog, as well as a few others. Off to stir up the bees…
I’m confused too. What does “patricentric” mean exactly? Googling only turned up, “centered around the father.” But to what extent? Can you fill in a little more what they were talking about?
Hi Momma,
I will be linking to your article today. You are asking some of the questions many of us have been asking for a long time and we STILL have no answers!
I did coin the word “patriocentric” a couple years ago when I realized how many homeschooling families have gone beyond the “father leading the home” position and have made the father the center of all that they do. Here is the “official” definition I have given:
Patriocentricity ~
* Taken from the Latin and Greek root word “patr” meaning father and the word “centric” meaning “situated at or near the center.”
* The term was specifically coined to describe the philosophy of family life promoted within some extreme Christian and Reformed homeschooling communities that teaches that God gives a “calling” in life to only men, specifically fathers, and that the purpose of the wife and children is to fulfill the father’s calling.
* Those who embrace this position believe that it changes only when a son assumes his own household responsibilities by taking a wife or a daughter is given in marriage when she can then leave her father’s home, her new purpose being to fulfill the calling of her husband.
* Though there are varying degrees of this taught within different groups, the father is sometimes described as the “prophet, priest, and king” of the home and there are other common ideals that often accompany patriocentricity, such as militant fecundity, family integrated church, neo-feudalism, as well as neo-agrarianism.
Here are a couple other great resources for understanding this movement:
http://www.truewomanhood.wordpress.com This blog was originally called “Got Me a College Girl” and was started by my 33 year old daughter and me to refute the notions that women shouldn’t attend college. It became obvious that there were far more tentacles that reached out from this movement, most of them, as you have described, wrapping themselves around homeschoolers. The discussion at TW, as we are known, has become a treasury of resources for the patriocentric movement with many people having participated over the past couple of years, sharing their research. (The threads on the “visionary daughters” aka the Botkin sisters, for example, already has more than 10,000 comments. Now the blog is mainly one for discussing all things pertaining to this movement. (Sometimes it can get a little snarky so please overlook that. This issue gets to you after a while!)
Also, if you or your readers want a min-course in patriocentricity, please listen to the podcast series I did on this. Just select the podcast you want to hear and listen from your computer. If nothing else, listen to the intro to get a 20 minute overview. It is a great place to start. http://www.thatmom.com/podcasts/podcasts.htm
Hope this helps. I really look forward to your insights as you study and research this topic.
[...] 2009 at 5:41 pm · Filed under Uncategorized While we are on the subject of patriocentricity, I found a refreshing essay by a mom who is discovering these teachings and what is behind them. After having attended homeschooling convention and being subjected to Rick Boyer’s radical [...]
I worked for HSLDA for several years. HSLDA is not formally involved, no. Their people are VERY conservative and many of them would ascribe to these teaching individually, but not all. That being said, they do not screen homeschool associations they talk about or help at all. They have no standard by which x is a good group and x is a not-so-good group. They just help those who exist. Each person, attorney, whatever, speaks at what he likes. Often they are hired as individuals to speak. Hope that helps.
Amber,
I would summarize the Patriarchy Movement or Patriocentricity (is that the term ThatMom uses?) as a belief that puts the man as priest of his home: all authority, blessing, curses, direction from the Lord, etc. comes through him to his family.
Momma Knows,
Thank you for being willing to get into this. The conversation/controversy must be explored and exposed. In response to your off the cuff questions, here are some off the cuff “answers”:
1. Great question. All I can think is that there has to be a strong group opposing the teachings and yet graciously proclaiming the truth of the Gospel. We have to love Jesus, love the Gospel, and cling to that alone.
2. Wow. Wouldn’t that be great!? I just don’t even go to the conferences because I don’t even want to expose myself to that type of thought. But I might be missing out on some truly helpful stuff in the meantime. Again, I suppose you’d have to have a core group that wanted non-agenda messages at the center of the planning team.
3. Probably, yes. Perhaps a positive statement in favor of the Gospel and in favor of our freedom in Christ would be helpful.
4. ?
5. I do wonder that myself and think there are certainly evidences of it in the sense that they are “Christian Reconstructionists.”
6. I hope so because I don’t feel comfortable joining HSLDA. I’ll have to google that one.
7. Find an ally or two.
Looking forward to more on this topic!
6.
Dawn, I found your post through thatmom’s, which I started following a couple of years ago when I became aware of patriocentricity and became concerned. I’m a former homeschooler, still involved somewhat with homeschooling and I have seen how some have been affected by Vision Forum, et al. and “their” teachings.
I live near you, unfortunately (?) couldn’t make it to the conference where the Boyers spoke. (I think I would have been upset by it, also.) I don’t know what to say to all your questions. I did a quick search and came up with this link (slightly old) which might be a place to start regarding alternatives to HSLDA. http://treasureseekers.wordpress.com/2007/12/18/alternatives-to-hslda/
Here is a newer post linked to that, which might be helpful, too.
http://principleddiscovery.com/2008/03/06/ca-hslda-and-protecting-homeschooling/
Maybe some of these organizations are still active. I did not join HSLDA during the years we homeschooled, thought it was kind of expensive for what they offered (some fine print there in as to when you are protected), and didn’t totally agree with all their message and political involvement. That said, I know there are good people involved with it–I’m just not sure about all of it, from some things I have read.
I have heard Chris Klicka is a great guy, and I do know he seems to be a real warrior, since he struggles with MS. I did think it was interesting that he canceled speaking at the conference you referred to due to health reasons, but he did make it to the “leadership summit” put on by patriocentrist men at Bill Gothard’s facilities, which was a week or two previous to the hs conference. Apparently it was a priority for him to speak to this group of men who were supposedly writing a homeschool manifesto (for everybody in homeschooling, apparently–sorry if you missed out in having a voice in that document in progress). I was thankful (honestly) that he canceled out of the conference, but sorry that the Boyers were not much of a substitute, since the message seemed to be strongly patriocentric. John Holzmann of Sonlight has done a 3-part (so far) series on the Men’s Leadership Summit, which is very thorough. It starts here. http://johnscorner.blogspot.com/2009/03/2009-christian-home-educators-of.html
I would also encourage people to become informed on this, as it is spreading throughout homeschooling. The podcasts and sites thatmom mentioned are very, very helpful. I am sure you will be getting comments that this is all a bunch of gossipy feminists trying to stir up the pot–expect it, it’s standard protocol for damage control. On the contrary, the heart of those on the sites is concern for the true Gospel of grace through Christ to be taught and experienced in people’s lives, not the distorted patriocentric rulebook, which does lead to heartache.
Thanks for your post–many are joining you in praying about this!
Oops, didn’t mean to call you Amber, Momma–you can change this on my post if you want. Guess the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet…
Hi there,
I live near you and have loads of info about patriocentricity (since my family has climbed out of this hole ourselves)if you ever want to get together and chat. You can get a hold of me on my blog.
http://www.livingtheshema.com
Blessings to you and yours!
I forgot to say that I believe people in charge of HSLDA are fine with girls going to college which seems to be a big part of the patriocentricity problem.
Oh, wow! I haven’t heard anything like this. I mean, yeah, we (a large majority of my church & homeschooling friends) are REAL big about the husband being the head of the home, respecting and honoring his authority, etc. But I’ve been oblivious to the extremes of that where it’s all about the husband- and calling him the prophet, priest and king? Oh my! How can that even be biblically supported? Seems like it’s encroaching a little on God’s territory don’t you think?
I thought we opened cans of worms when we talked about submitting to our husbands but this is something else entirely.
(For the record, Dawn, if you read books like Biblical Womanhood, A Woman After God’s Own Heart or The Excellent Wife – that’s pretty much where I stand – and I know even a lot of that is controversial and offensive to some. But I draw the line there. I don’t think anything more than that can be scripturally supported. I’ll check out the other post now.) =)
Momma, I am sorry if my information was wrong. I thought I had heard that he had canceled before the leadership summit took place, which was March 5-7. But it must have been right after that that he had the accident? Can’t remember how long it was before the Boyers were contacted to fill in for him. Anyway, I do apologize if I was wrong.
As far as what to do about your local homeschool support group, I guess you will probably have more influence on speakers, etc., if you become more involved. How does a board member get elected, anyway? Concerning the state homeschool groups, people should know that Christian Heritage Home Educators of Washington seems to be heavily patriocentric in their emphasis, while WATCH doesn’t appear to be.
Looking forward to reading more of this discussion.
Christian Heritage is run on this side of the state by a very lovely family but it is completely patriocentric. I would unfortunately avoid this hs support group at all costs.
Yes, someone else just told me the same thing. I have had contact with them once or twice, but our local group is the one I belong to. I don’t belong to any of the statewide groups. I just checked their website, and Voddie Baucham is the keynote speaker for their conference this year. Ack!
Hi, I am an EFCA pastor in Kentucky.
The Patriarchy movement is a male-ego-trip distortion of Biblical teaching about male leadership. It mixes in the various writers’ private opinions with Scripture, and by that method lifting them up to the same level as Scripture. It takes basic Biblical truths (like a husband’s responsibility to lead the home) and loads them full of ideological steroids.
Husbands and fathers are *never* titled “prophet”, “priest”, or “king” in Scripture. These are absurdly grandiose titles to apply to fathers, when Jesus forbade us from accepting grandiose titles for ourselves (I don’t like it when people call me “Pastor”; see Matthew 23:8). The words “husband” and “father” are grand enough for me! Those are the Biblical names we’ve been assigned. I’m not a prophet; I don’t receive direct revelations and I can’t strike anyone dead. I’m not a priest; I don’t offer sacrifices that cover my family’s sins. I’m not a king; the Bible says I answer to the government to some degree (Romans 13), the church properly assembled (Mt. 18:16-17), and I’m forbidden to lord it over others the way the world does.
The children are not the father’s property. Oversight is different from ownership. I don’t own my children, because God’s image means that human beings aren’t things. God owns them. Every soul is His (Ezekiel 18:4). That idea is insane. Not even the Confederates, with their many evils, went that far.
The Bible also teaches the equality of essence, sin, and redemption between men and women. Adam and Eve were both given authority over the earth (Genesis 1:26-27). I can affirm male leadership and female authority in the same breath, because the Bible teaches both. I oppose feminism and patriocentrism both, because they’re both wrong.
Great discussion here! I look forward to more.
Pastor Jack:
I agree with you on all points, except women as pastors. I belong to an Assembly of God church, and believe, as they do, that women can (and DO) pastor effectively. Getting back to the issue at hand though, God gave woman to man to be a helpmeet, not a submissive underling.
A woman should regard her husband as the head of her household and protector, not her dominator. This movement seeks to put husbands in the place of God, as the man is the only one who receives vision from God for his wife and children. They don’t receive anything from God, until such a time as they are married off. It’s sick! Yes, Pharisaical is a good descriptor. No where is grace extended by them, either to others who don’t live as they do, or even to their daughters, who often choose another way to live, once they are old enough to leave, IF they can get out. They, as we, are in worldly sin, according to the patriocentrists.
As for Gary Ezzo, I sounded off about him around 11 years ago, when someone I knew was neglecting her 1 year old’s needs because of Ezzo’s book, BabyWise. Choosing how to run your household and educate and raise your children should be a personal choice, based on God’s Word rather than someone else’s say-so. Taking Scripture out of context and making a blanket “God says…” such and such, and if you don’t do it you’re in sin is just plain WRONG. When we add to and subtract from God’s Word, we cross the line into Enemy territory.
Jack, you rock!
I appreciate the comments from a male perspective – as a women, speaking out against patriarchy gives me the label “rebellious” and a “Jezebel.” (from within the patriarchy camp, I mean)
The greatest problem in the authoritarian teachings of leaders in the patriarchy movement (or Bill Gothard or the Ezzo’s, as mentioned by Jack) is that they teach “how to’s” that reflect their own personal opinion – and they teach them as scriptural! The Christian life very rapidly becomes a series of formulas for us to implement, and conferences to attend, in order to truly fulfill “God’s destiny for our lives. ”
It is a very heavy burden to carry.
Instead I am learning to embrace the scriptures as a whole; learning that they point to Jesus as my Redeemer; trusting that there is nothing I can do to gain any more acceptance or favor from my loving Heavenly Father. Christ’s death and resurrection are enough for me. This is what motivates me to love my children, not another human’s prescription for a happy family. With this freedom comes the ability to be myself as a woman, to respect my husband because he’s my best friend (not because I’m supposed to), and to let go of formulas and striving for something ever so much greater: God’s Grace.
Momma, sorry if I’m beating the proverbial dead horse here… I wanted to satisfy my curiosity and looked back at prayer requests for the week of Mar. 1-7 (Mar. 5 to be exact), when our small group began praying for a new speaker for the homeschool conference to replace Chris Klicka. The Men’s Leadership Summit was the following weekend, March 5-7, and there are recordings of his speech made there. So he might have been in quite a bit of pain when he made his speech to the men, but he did make it a priority to show up there and not at the homeschool conference where he was scheduled to speak 3 weeks later.
Hi Dawn,
I do love your blog, am putting it in my reader. (Not just the content, but the look of it–I can tell you are a techie–is that the right word?) Your photo looks vaguely familiar–perhaps you used to go to my church or I crossed paths with you somewhere in this place that is “Near Nature, Near Perfect”. If you want to track this down with me via my email, maybe we could figure out if we do know each other. I would be glad to share more with you there.
I guess the reason I wanted to determine the timeline of Chris Klicka cancelling his engagement is to check out the validity of his reasons for doing so. Like I said, I know leaders like him and Michael Farris are highly respected by a lot of people, and I know good families who are heavily involved with HSLDA. That said, I have also recently read some troubling and documented questions upon their character http://hsislegal.com/germany/intro.asp (this was taken down for awhile and is back up for the time being) by Richard Guenther, who says he has pursued the Matthew 18 way of confrontation, and now is making his grievances public. His facts and story seem to be well documented, and without knowing these men personally to evaluate their character, I tend to sympathize with Guenther.
That’s the problem with teachers, authors and homeschooling figures–we only know of them what they portray to us, and don’t see how their personal lives match up with what they teach, or even more, with what Christ taught and lived. I am afraid that many of these men (and women) who have been held up on somewhat idealistic pedestals are not all they are made out to be. As you may be finding out from your reading, the method of the patriocentric leaders is to berate and scold any critics and call them gossips (and even threaten legal action) in order to get them to stay quiet. That helps keep their playing field nice and clean and keeps them looking good, and they don’t even necessarily have to answer the arguments with reason or truth.
I know you want to keep your blog from turning into a venue for gossip, and I don’t want that, either. But I do feel that it is necessary to point out where someone’s actions don’t match up with what they have professed, especially when they are being held up as leaders to families in homeschooling. I think reasonable discussion should be made to help people determine who they are unquestioningly following. You asked about Chris Klicka’s involvement with the patriocentric movement, and I am passing along what I know. Maybe it doesn’t matter when he canceled his engagement to speak here, and maybe it does if his excuse was that he was too sore to move in bed, yet he spoke somewhere else shortly after he begged out. It does tell a little bit about his priorities and maybe a little bit about his character. I am open to correction here, because, as I say, I don’t know him personally.
As for Reb Bradley, he has been around in the same homeschooling circles and has in the past spoken about parenting in a way that seemed authoritarian. I wasn’t at last year’s conference, but from what I heard, he has been changed by having the experience of having his older children rebel from this overly strict parenting style. His observation of their and other families having children who fled from legalistic systems of heavy-handed rules led him to write a great warning on how to avoid this. I think this http://www.familyministries.com/HS_Crisis.htm is an awesome read from him, and I believe he is much more balanced now that he has gone through this heartache. There are lots of those other “perfect” homeschool families who have also experienced the rebellion of their kids, but that is usually kept very quiet from the public, because it points out the problems with the parenting/homeschooling “formula” they are trying to sell.
I’ll try to be quiet(er) for awhile–as you can maybe tell, I do have strong feelings about this, and I am praying for truth to be made known, for families to find grace and healing, and for false teachers to be brought down. I hope you will continue to be part of that!