A Quick Review:

In sheer desperation, I put my youngest two sons in public school about 6 weeks ago. My 7yo is developmentally delayed and needs some extra “classroom support”, as they call it. Three weeks ago we met to discuss changes to his IEP that will help him in school. (And concurrently, my heart was already feeling ripped out and I’m seriously regretting putting him in school at all.) Yesterday’s IEP meeting was to go over what we’d decided and finalize it. This IEP will be in effect from now through May 2009 (assuming he’s in school, which he may not be!)

If you’ve never been to one of these types of meetings, sometimes called Study Team meetings or Academic Support Team meetings, let me illustrate my experience for you. Always, always, I am the last one there. I walk in, and six pairs of eyes look at me, as I seat myself in the chair that faces the other six across the table. Half-round tables may be convenient for a teacher with a small group of students working together, but they are intimidating when it’s me-versus-them. I hate that.

So I sat down in the center chair, and the speech therapist begins to tell us what she’s seeing, all of the “amazing” things D1 has said/done with her (as if she is surprised he can think), and explains the new goals she has set for him. The goals are all okay, and gave me good ideas as far as how we could approach narration (a’la Ambleside & Charlotte Mason) and how I could fit in some of these things to his everyday lessons at home.

Then, the meeting turns to the Resource Specialist. She gushes about how great D1 is and how she can’t wait to have him back in her classroom for individual support, because she feels he so desperately needs that “social piece”, as far as classroom work is concerned. Huh? She will have him for 90 minutes a day, spread out into two 45 minute time periods. Again, the goals she added to the IEP were good, and again I see I can grab those and incorporate them into a “Mastery M.A.P.” goals sheet (Ambleside with LDer’s e-group help.)

The final person to speak came in late– the school principal. She began to relate to me what she has seen of D1 on the playground. He tends to jump from one activity to another and from one group of kids to another. He doesn’t stay in any one place for very long. He is very sociable and seems to want to interact with everyone, all the time. I already knew this, as I have watched him on the playground also. Then she asked me “Has he said anything about making some new friends?” Well, no, not really. I know how he plays, and he still does a lot of parallel play, with some cooperative play, but not for long periods of time. So no, he doesn’t really mention a lot of friends… at least not anyone he plays with frequently.

So then she tells me that she has introduced him to “Two of the EA’s that are outside during recess, and I have asked them to introduce him to a few select kids.” My eyebrows went up as she was telling me this. “Are these EA’s from the special ed class?” (Why yes they are.) “And are these kids from the self-contained classroom?” (Why, yes they are.) “And is he being encouraged to leave the general playground area, where HIS classmates are, to play with the special ed kids?” (Why, yes he is.) WHAT!?!?!

So on the one hand, all of these people tell me how “concerned” they are that D1 needs social interaction, and to play with the other kids… but on the other hand they think he needs to be taken aside to play with only a select few special ed kids because he is having trouble singling out a few friends to play with on the playground?! How backwards is that!?

Oh.I.hate.this.